i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
Randomize
