there's paper in my vomit.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
