from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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