my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
