i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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