I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
