so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
now i know why i became what i already was.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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