so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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