you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The struggles of a small town man whore
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Randomize
