I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
