just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
