There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I'm sobbing to NWA
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
