u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
