I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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