so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
