ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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