Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
