dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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