id be glad to
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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