WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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