I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
