thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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