he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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