she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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