$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
