CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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