Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
