I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Randomize
