Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
