people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
