thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Randomize
