sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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