I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
