just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
