I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize