Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
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