I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
