That's when you crack a 10am beer
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize