And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
