:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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