Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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