i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
