We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
Randomize