Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
