Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Well I just put wine in my tea
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
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