I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Sober January is a disaster.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
As shirtless as possible
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
