dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
You can't motorboat a personality
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
