i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize