I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
