What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
