I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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