yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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