I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
