good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
