This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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