bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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