Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
