You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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