do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
