I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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