he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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