i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
A+ Viking dick
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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