I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
