haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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