so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize