im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
