so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
