yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
