We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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