it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
