Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
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