I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
