i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
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