my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
