I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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