i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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