So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I deserve this hangover.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
