All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
He kissed a someone with a penis
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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