In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Me too!
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
